Sunday, July 31, 2005
When all has been said and done, and you've said all that needs to be said, what else is left? Are we now stronger because of this? Or did we just rush the inevitable, and showing our vulnerable selves in the process?
The silence was comforting, to say the least. I have mixed emotions, and I don't know where to start. On one hand, yes, I needed that. I needed that cry, uninhibited and unconscious. But I had so many things I would've wanted to say, to at least make them understand what I'm going through. I know I'm starting to have relationship issues, the paranoia is slowly creeping in and I know one day it's going to take over me. They're going to be affected by it, but I didn't have the courage to bring out more weaknesses. Now I don't think I'd be able to tell them anymore. (unless they read this entry, but still, the issue's very vague.)
On the other hand, what did we resolve? Did showing these very different sides of ourselves make things any different? Would it make us treat each other differently? I guess the answer lies in the days ahead.
I guess the block "recollection" thing was a double edged sword. Now, I'm scared by the closeness we're now experiencing. I don't want to lose people I love again.
let it go
31.7.05
