Saturday, June 11, 2005
When you're top, there's no other place to go but down. No matter how much you try to hold on that giddy, happy feeling, it just slips away. I woke up really happy, and now, I'm about to sleep feeling awful.
I refuse to even consider that part of this is because of what a friend told me a while ago. No, I'm not going to elaborate. I'm leaving it as it is. I've done this so many times, so this is no different. I just feel so stupid,
parang hindi na ko natuto.I'm feeling very vulnerable right now. The slightest comment from anyone, and I burst in tears. I'm keeping my happy moment in my livejournal, but here, I need to just pour it out, though I have no words to explain it. I just feel like any minute now, everything's gonna come crashing down. I sound really paranoid, I know. But sometimes, I wish everything could just be steady. You know, no extreme bursts of happiness or sadness. It exerts me too much, emotionally. I feel like an emotional see-saw. One day I'm really happy, the next day I'm crying my lungs out. I can't keep doing this to myself.
let it go
11.6.05
