Monday, January 10, 2005
What was I thinking advertising this blog to my friends? Arrgghh... That was a wrong move. I shouldn't have done that. Now I couldn't write about really personal stuff here, since there's always the threat of my friends being able to read this. Arrrrgghh.. Now I'm really paranoid.
There's really something I just wanna let out, something that happened today. But unfortunately, I can't write it in here. Doesn't that just suck? Oh well, what's done is done.
Basically, all I wanted to write about was: a) I get pissed at the smallest of things and I usually just need time to get over it. b) I'm such a martyr. I want other people to be happy despite my unhappy state.
There, that's it. I can't elaborate anymore, sorry.
Now, I'm going back to my math homework.
*** I don't know if you're going to notice this, and if you're going to notice what I wrote up there, but just in case you do, don't be paranoid, k? It's nothing. I've been this way since I was a kid and you had no part in turning me into one. I've had harsher heartbreaks and I've survived, so don't think that this is a big deal, okay? :)
let it go
10.1.05
Sunday, January 09, 2005
I do treat my friends equally, right? This is meant to be a rhetorical question, but it is with great doubt that I ask this.
I just read something that left me dumbfounded. It led me to think of this, my priorities when it comes to friends. This is something I really do take seriously, because I don't want my friends to feel that i'm neglecting them and I don't want to lose the connection, if you get what I mean. I will always be a moron from 1J, a friendship from 2I, and more importantly, a berx from 3H, a squatter from 4C and a PGC member. And now that I'm in college, I'm also proud to be a BB. Now, if only there are more than 24 hours in a day, and more than 7 days in a week, I can make time for all these groups of friends. Unfortunately, there are only 24 hours in a day and there are only 7 days in a week, so what's a girl like me to do?
Going to 2 parties in a night and going to 2-3 get-togethers in a day has become a normal occurence, just to get to spend time with all my friends. But no matter how much I try, there are always gimicks that I couldn't attend do. Is that considered ditching? I sure hope not. I would never intentionally ditch a get-together, especially if I already said that I would go.
Well, back to my question. Do I treat my friends equally? I'd really like to say yes, but I'd be lying if I said so. Of course I don't. I can only make time for the last 4. 3H, 4C, PGC (barkada) and BB. Not that I'm being unfair... My 1J friends don't go out anymore, and so do my 2I friends. I rarely even get to talk to them anymore. Sadly, even my 3H and 4C friends don't even go out that much lately. Probably because of school and all that shit.
So what's a girl like me to do? I guess I'm doing quite okay like this. I do get to go out with them once in a while, but that doesn't stop me from missing them terribly.
let it go
9.1.05
God, the subject seems so shallow. Haha, what the heck. My wrists hurt because of too much typing. I've been online since around 9 pm, (it's now 1:11 am) chatting with friends and blockmates (about a paper we're supposed to write). That explains this.
Anyways, after Jho, James and I got back to Ateneo after watching a movie in Gateway yesterday, Jho and I decided to drop by Moro gym to check out and inquire about the gym. (duh.) Ok folk, yep, you guessed it! I'm finally going to the gym. Regularly! Php 950 a month is worth it if I'm gonna lose lots and lots of weight. Hahaha.. :) I just hope this does push through and I won't become lazy after a few sessions. And yeah, I hope I won't become insecure.
let it go
9.1.05
