i know mariel's feeling this strange thing going on between us na. oo nga naman, nung nagpunta na nga lang tayo sa bday ni yeng, mejo parang may gap na tayo. im really trying my best to keep us all together din. im doing my part naman eh.. kaya lang parang its still not enough. honestly, im losing ground here.
you know the feeling when suddenly parang wala ka nang silbi? ganun.. parang napakawalang kwenta ko na and feeling ko kung mawala ako, you wont even notice. yun. that's what im feeling when im with you lately.
you have your own lives and new friends and everything. i have mine too. sometimes naffrustrate na lang ako ng todo, parang ayoko na gumawa ng effort, kaya lang, hindi naman tama yun eh. what's even more frustrating is that im feeling left out . yun na yun eh.
my high school life revolved around you guys. kayo lang talaga yung dahilan kung bakit ako pumapasok pa sa school araw araw. maybe i've become too dependent on you, kaya ngayon na we're naturally moving on with our new lives, mas nahihirapan din ako. im not saying goodbye or anything, pero let's face it. we're bound to have different lives from now on. we just have to accept that. kaya nga dapat itreasure yung mga minsan na kumpleto tayong magkasama eh.. ang problema nga lang talaga, parang iba na kayo eh. pati na rin ako, kc aminado namang may pinagbago na rin ako eh.
so bakit ko yun sinulat? ewan ko. ang hirap iexplain eh. sometimes i just feel so alone and alienated from everyone around me. even those whom i consider closest to me don't seem to be found. maybe my mom's right. i depend too much on my friends. friends come and go while family's always there for you. tama kaya yun? i used to think highly of my friends. ngayon, hindi ko na alam. we seem to be moving on in different directions and kahit na gano ko kagustong ibalik yung dati, i just can't.
i'm slowly breaking down. my foundations seem brittle compared to the new world that life has brought upon me. i used to think i was strong, but now, i'm having second thoughts. i want to make my own mistakes, and i still do. but i can't take on life on my own. i need all the support i can get. but helow, no one seems to be there for me.